Manufacturing faith. That’s what it feels like I doing. I’m trying to create something out of nothing; a feeling, a belief where none seems to exist.
I’m very, over abundantly clear on what I don’t believe, and that’s because, at the moment, there is very little that I do believe. In the way of religious conviction, I mean.
Which is a bit of a bugger.
Things that inspire awe at the greatness of God in others, such as looking up in to the Milky Way, or seeing a gorgeous sunrise just don’t do it for me. Of course, I appreciate the beauty; I’m disturbingly liable to burst into tears at the sound of the dawn chorus, or if the sunset is just the right shade of red.
But I don’t look at beauty, and think ‘God’.
And yes, I’ve been told that the ineffable feeling that I can’t describe IS God, but that doesn’t ring true for me.
I don’t think I’ve had my God Appreciation switch set to ‘receive’ yet.
I wonder who is supposed to have done that; me, or God?