Could there be a more cliched expression?
A leap of faith.
It’s used to describe anything that does not have a readily discernable outcome. Having faith that you won’t fail dismally. Having faith that you want fall on your behind. Just having faith.
The way that I most often hear it used is to mean ‘to hope that everything goes the way that you want it to’.
But that isn’t it’s real intention, is it?
It’s to give your ego, your self and your expectations over to something intangible. Something that you can’t define, that you can’t explain. Like the rainbow that looks so solid, but is always just a tough out of reach…
I think that I’ve realised that I’m scared of becoming a Christian. I’m scared that people will think that I’m delusional; that I’ve instantly lost IQ points. That I’ve become someone entirely different.
And not different in a good way.
I’m scared that I will redefine myself as something that is unsustainable, something that I will discard in 6 months like my spring decorating theme.
I’m scared of making that literal leap of faith.
I’m praying for wisdom, and strength.