A life changing leap of faith

Could there be a more cliched expression?

A leap of faith.

It’s used to describe anything that does not have a readily discernable outcome. Having faith that you won’t fail dismally. Having faith that you want fall on your behind. Just having faith.

The way that I most often hear it used is to mean ‘to hope that everything goes the way that you want it to’.

But that isn’t it’s real intention, is it?

It’s to give your ego, your self and your expectations over to something intangible. Something that you can’t define, that you can’t explain. Like the rainbow that looks so solid, but is always just a tough out of reach…

I think that I’ve realised that I’m scared of becoming a Christian. I’m scared that people will think that I’m delusional; that I’ve instantly lost IQ points. That I’ve become someone entirely different.

And not different in a good way.

I’m scared that I will redefine myself as something that is unsustainable, something that I will discard in 6 months like my spring decorating theme.

I’m scared of making that literal leap of faith.

I’m praying for wisdom, and strength.

 

11 thoughts on “A life changing leap of faith

  1. Oh Eva, I do like to comment on your posts so that you don’t feel like you are talking to thin air. I guess you just have to have faith that someone is reading. I don’t know which direction to take with my reply there are so many roads I could go down. I just really wish I could talk to you and go back and forth with conversational responses. So much easier then I would know if you were understanding me or not or if I was going off on an unneeded tangent. Suffice to say I am going to pray about my response and do it a bit later.

  2. I guess an unneeded tangent is a bit like a double negative! I guess tangents are good but if they are just red herrings leading us off the point of discussion they can be unnecessary. And now your next post has got my mind going. Wish I had studied apologetics instead I just have to depend on the Holy Spirit. Well scripture tells me that he leads me into all truth so I guess he will be dependable.

  3. just a quick thank you for being brave. i don’t know exactly why, but when i clicked over here and read your words, i melted in tears. i so appreciate your transparency and i’ve been holding back from crying for days because i have so prayed that people would be with us in this journey. and now i see you, and this specific fear, and oh…my. you blessed me.

    if i can ever help you in any way, know that i would be honored.

    i certainly don’t have all the answers but i would treasure the chance to share Him with you.

    i hope the book and the community of bloom blesses you as you seek Him~
    in love,
    ang

    • Oh Ang, thank you for you sweet words. I’ve read at (in)courage for a long time, but am fearful that the mode of belief that I am coming to will be different from the majority, and I will be the ‘other’ there aswell. Always looking for a way to be different and ‘special’ aren’t I? (Could just be attention seeking 😉 )

      You are opening people up, enabeling them to accept and share their fears and doubts; and that’s a wonderful thing to embrace.

      (I’m going to read chapter 9 of your book first; ‘Fear that God isn’t real’. I’m a rebel like that…..)

      Eva x

  4. I concur w/ one of the comments above–your posts lend so well to conversation. LIke I’d love to be in like a small group setting–with people along the spectrum of faith, read your posts, and discuss.

    As far as what you see as a ‘leap of faith’. What would it look like to go from curious/seeking to ‘faith’? In other words, what would you be leaping to? Would you be leaping to just belief that there is a God and perhaps he’s the Christian version? Is it a leap toward trust in that God or Jesus for something?

    (PS did you happen to get my email re: the a-list blogging stuff?–check your spam if not).

    • Hey Brett; I’ve ‘unspammed’ you!

      I think that the leap would be realising that I’m not going to get a burning bush moment, I’m not going to get anything resembling my version of ‘proof’, so at some stage I’m going to have to find the ability to go ‘I’m OK with that, and I believe despite my doubts’.
      I THINK that’s what I mean, but I reserve the right to change my mind…..

      Eva 🙂

  5. Eva:
    It is not about a leap of faith but giving yourself over to God’s will in your life.
    God grace for us, in sending His Son, Jesus, to die for us and to take our sin so that we may have salvation.
    Christ would like us to do for others who are in need, not because we are owed a reward but we give of ourselves because there is that need out there.
    There are many ways to help-mission meals, volunteer drivers for the treatment
    centres, kids programs.
    Accepting Christ into your heart can be shown in many ways. If anyone ask what you believe, just tell them that you have accepted God, the Holy Spirit, and His Son Christ in your life. There is only God that knows what you say is the Truth.
    Your outreach for others goes along with that as well.
    Don’t do it because you have to do it. Do it for your love of others.
    You will know in your own heart what it means to you.

    Blessings in Christ
    Joe

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