Calling to me.


‘You would not have been calling to me unless I had been calling to you’  C.S Lewis, The Silver Chair.

Photo by Hotgossip1

I recently bought the Chronicles of Narnia on audio-book, and they have been a huge hit with my boys. I occasionally have to chime in with a complaint about the portrayal of gender roles, but apart from that it’s all good.

While listening to The Silver Chair last week, the above quote hit me around the head.

You would not have been calling to me unless I had been calling to you.

Spoken, of course, by Aslan to one of the random-occasionally-moody-but-eventually-learns-the-error-of-his-ways-through-the power-of-good children.

Why am I am so obsessed with this search for belief? Why is this so important to me, given that I live a happy and fortunate life, and don’t, on the outside, seem to need an infusion of meaning?

You would not have been calling to me unless I had been calling to you.

Like every facet of my agnostic search, it’s something that could be incredibly significant or it could mean nothing. A believer would see it as rock solid proof that God has planted the still, silent voice within me, gradually working away. An atheist would that I’m trying to fill some gap, or trying to desperately find somewhere to fit in; I may not feel that my life is wanting but there’s obviously some subconscious need that I’m trying to fill.

I’m chosing to see it as important.

6 thoughts on “Calling to me.

  1. Eva, I’m delighted to have just discovered your blog via John Shore’s. You and your commenters (is that a word?) are having a wonderful conversation. I truly appreciate your inquisitive spirit, the hard work you are doing and your courage in putting it all out there (here?) This, to me, is the very essence of faith—being open to Something Greater. I believe that every one of us, all 7 billion (more or less) are, at this moment, exactly where God needs us to be to reach us in the next moment. It’s God that does the reaching. We just have to be open. I think you’re right on schedule.

  2. Thanks so much for your kind words. I’m so surprised that what I’m going through here resonates with all sorts of people; both those who are safe in their faith, and those still on the fringes. Glad to have you here 🙂


  3. You could also try the book God without Religion – I just read it and it makes it much simpler i think – an interesting read. Christ came for us to be free – especially from religion

  4. Pingback: An all too shakeable Faith. | The Aspirational Agnostic

Comments are closed.