The paranormal, revised.

So.

I wrote a follow up to this post. It was fairly predictable and uninspiring. It looked at how there is some evidence for psychics and the like, but not enough.

For me, that is.

As I said, it was predictable. And dull. It was so boring that I couldn’t even proof-read it.

It got deleted. Then I ruminated for a few days. I had been so sure that I knew what I wanted to say, but it wasn’t working. Usually I can express, however clunkily, what I’m trying to get at, but it just wasn’t working.

So I gave the whole situation a great big ‘meh’, and sulked for a few days.

Then yesterday, I had an epiphany of sorts. It was a fairly low key, quiet epiphany, with no cries of ‘Eureka’; more of a slow dawning, it’s true, but I’m getting less fussy about these things.

I’ve always thought that if something amazing, something inexplicable and supernatural happened to me, then I would believe.

But I don’t need that. It’s not what this whole faith thing is all about.

(Damn. I shouldn’t have touted my ability to express myself coherently. This may end badly)

What I’m trying to say is that seeing a ghost, or experiencing an amazing psychic hasn’t actually got anything to do with what I’m trying to experience. I’d probably just explain it all away anyway. What is going on in my mind is totally unrelated to those things. I don’t need them to believe.

Because faith is just that; faith. And I know that many of you, wise reader, have told me that, but I just didn’t get it before. Kind of like I never got maths at school, no matter how many times it was explained to me. It just had to sit there in my mind for a while. The dawning would come eventually, but having people explain it to me was a sure way to get me to put my hands over my ears and go ‘LALALALALA’ till they went away.

So, I feel like I get it now. That doesn’t mean that I have instantly become a believer, but it does mean that I’m going to look less to external validation from now on.

Yay me!

11 thoughts on “The paranormal, revised.

  1. I was swaying left to right after reading the previous post and I couldn’t bring myself to writing a comment. I am glad I didn’t do it because you have already said it better than I would have done it.
    At times I too go through these kind of state, where I feel a strong hunger for a Sign, something extraordinary to hapen to me that would shake me and put me on solid rock. I realise immediately that it’s just an illusion: the faith doesn’t come and go based on sensorial experiences. The serious human need is not for a physically induced experience, not even a spiritual one (for those believing in the existence of the soul) rather for a sense of completeness, of something that leave no room for anything else. But that’s perhaps poetry for the soul.
    Until you find what you are looking for keep it real and give us, the other, a sign of what you see on the way there

    • Thanks Sam. I’m glad that I reached this conclusion, as you are. My husband often says that ‘I can’t be told’, meaning that I need to discover things for myself. Which isn’t always a good thing, I must admit.

      Eva

  2. This journey you are on will not likely be resolved in an instant, or even with one or two more epiphanies like this one — because it’s just that: a journey. I admire that you are so honestly open about your desire TO REALLY KNOW. I think that if you remain honest in your thinking, and that your head and heart are on the same search, you WILL come closer and closer to what may satisfy your desire to know. Faith is such a large (and important) part of the search, and the reward of keeping focused on finding truth.

    Interestingly, as much as any of us could try to define and back up what we believe, we cannot reveal to your satisfaction an answer to your heart’s desire and longing. We CAN share our faith stories with you, but the beauty is that your understanding will be yours ALONE.

    Thanks for inviting us along as you search. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post! I will be anxious to read whatever you are willing to share. In my experience, God does not disappoint. My faith has been my anchor and my rock through some turbulent life circumstances — and I know that God is not done shaping me yet!

    • Thanks so much. Other peoples faith stories are really important to me, but I’m rapidly learning that this is such a personal thing. I can enjoy others experiences without worrying that I will be influenced by them.

      Eva x

  3. Like Sam above, I wanted to respond to your previous post but somehow couldn’t. Your desire for paranormal “proof” was so much like mine was many years ago. At that time, I prayed and prayed for a sign. Then I got one. A big one. I simply couldn’t comprehend it. So, as you’ve suggested you might have done, my skepticism got the better of me and I denied it. I spent years trying to explain it away. Finally, reluctantly, I was dragged to the realization you’ve discovered in a few days.

    Yay you, indeed!

  4. Interesting stuff here, thanks. I might need to have a good think about the issues you raise, and may end up blogging around this area myself. My gut reaction is that unlike you, I’d regard any supernatural event as a mystery to be explained, as much as convincing proof of anything. I also find myself wondering where religious belief is left in the absence of any serious evidence of the supernatural, but consistent standards of evidence and proof are hard to come by in this area.

  5. Pingback: I ain’t afraid of no Holy Ghost « Recovering Agnostic

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