I wrote a follow up to this post. It was fairly predictable and uninspiring. It looked at how there is some evidence for psychics and the like, but not enough.
For me, that is.
As I said, it was predictable. And dull. It was so boring that I couldn’t even proof-read it.
It got deleted. Then I ruminated for a few days. I had been so sure that I knew what I wanted to say, but it wasn’t working. Usually I can express, however clunkily, what I’m trying to get at, but it just wasn’t working.
So I gave the whole situation a great big ‘meh’, and sulked for a few days.
Then yesterday, I had an epiphany of sorts. It was a fairly low key, quiet epiphany, with no cries of ‘Eureka’; more of a slow dawning, it’s true, but I’m getting less fussy about these things.
I’ve always thought that if something amazing, something inexplicable and supernatural happened to me, then I would believe.
But I don’t need that. It’s not what this whole faith thing is all about.
(Damn. I shouldn’t have touted my ability to express myself coherently. This may end badly)
What I’m trying to say is that seeing a ghost, or experiencing an amazing psychic hasn’t actually got anything to do with what I’m trying to experience. I’d probably just explain it all away anyway. What is going on in my mind is totally unrelated to those things. I don’t need them to believe.
Because faith is just that; faith. And I know that many of you, wise reader, have told me that, but I just didn’t get it before. Kind of like I never got maths at school, no matter how many times it was explained to me. It just had to sit there in my mind for a while. The dawning would come eventually, but having people explain it to me was a sure way to get me to put my hands over my ears and go ‘LALALALALA’ till they went away.
So, I feel like I get it now. That doesn’t mean that I have instantly become a believer, but it does mean that I’m going to look less to external validation from now on.