I’m comfortable with the fact that I’ve let go of the need for a supernatural revelation; without making too much of a big deal out of it and laying to the point too much, it’s quite liberating. The onus is now on me; the internal journey, relating to God in my own personal way, which I’m beginning to suspect is the way that God would wish it to be.
(tangentally*, using the word ‘he’ for God doesn’t sit comfortably with me. Surely ‘God’ isn’t a person as such, but a force or an essence. I can’t think of another option though. Using ‘she’ is just as inaccurate and it’s usage becomes a big statement in itself)
This personal identification and challenge reminds me of how I’ve come to think that God works in the world (assuming that there is a God, but it seems that I am doing that quite a lot now, doesn’t it?).
God, being God, must theoretially be able to bring about any situation that he wishes. But he has set a variety of natural constants for reason, one would assume, so it makes no sense that he wouldn’t go about establishing these things if he is just going to go about suspending gravity willy-nilly or making it impossible for anyone under the age of 3 to die of disease. The world works the way that it works. (I’m not much into miracles, if you hadn’t gathered).
We humans are special and unique, and we have the capacity for incredible good, and powerful change. When we can be bothered, that is.
I once ‘liked’ a quote on facebook that ran along the lines of “sometimes I want to ask God why he won’t act to fix the injustice and poverty and hatred in the world; but I’m scared that he will ask me the same question’.
That’s not it exactly, but you get the idea. As I said, I’m not sure where it came from, but it certainly sounds like something that would be posted by The Christian Left.
I have what is sometimes very useful, but is more often a hinderence, and that is the propensity to wait until I know the opinions of ‘experts’ before I make a firm decision. I need to know all the facts and opinions of other, more knowledgeable people before I make a stand on, say a political or a social issue.
But I can’t do this when it comes to my spiritual life, can I? Oh, I love to hear about others experiences of faith and their individual journeys, but when it comes right down to it, they only really touch me superficially. All the books (and there are many) that I read can only tell me so much. In the end, it’s all down to me.
And God, I suppose.
* just before publishing this, I had to do an emergency-google of ‘Is tangentally a real word’. It is!