It’s all up to me. And God.

I’m comfortable with the fact that I’ve let go of the need for a supernatural revelation; without making too much of a big deal out of it and laying to the point too much, it’s quite liberating. The onus is now on me; the internal journey, relating to God in my own personal way, which I’m beginning to suspect is the way that God would wish it to be.

(tangentally*, using the word ‘he’ for God doesn’t sit comfortably with me. Surely ‘God’ isn’t a person as such, but a force or an essence. I can’t think of  another option though. Using ‘she’ is just as inaccurate and it’s usage becomes a big statement in itself)

This personal identification and challenge reminds me of how I’ve come to think that God works in the world (assuming that there is a God, but it seems that I am doing that quite a lot now, doesn’t it?).

God, being God, must theoretially be able to bring about any situation that he wishes. But he has set a variety of natural constants for  reason, one would assume, so it makes no sense that he wouldn’t go about establishing these things if he is just going to go about suspending gravity willy-nilly or making it impossible for anyone under the age of 3 to die of disease. The world works the way that it works. (I’m not much into miracles, if you hadn’t gathered).

We humans are special and unique, and we have the capacity for incredible good, and powerful change. When we can be bothered, that is.

I once ‘liked’ a quote on facebook that ran along the lines of “sometimes I want to ask God why he won’t act to fix the injustice and poverty and hatred in the world; but I’m scared that he will ask me the same question’.

 That’s not it exactly, but you get the idea. As I said, I’m not sure where it came from, but it certainly sounds like something that would be posted by The Christian Left.

I have what is sometimes very useful, but is more often a hinderence, and that is the propensity to wait until I know the opinions of ‘experts’ before I make a firm decision. I need to know all the facts and opinions of other, more knowledgeable people before I make a stand on, say a political or a social issue.

 But I can’t do this when it comes to my spiritual life, can I? Oh, I love to hear about others experiences of faith and their individual journeys, but when it comes right down to it, they only really touch me superficially. All the books (and there are many) that I read can only tell me so much. In the end, it’s all down to me.

And God, I suppose.

* just before publishing this, I had to do an emergency-google of ‘Is tangentally a real word’. It is!

5 thoughts on “It’s all up to me. And God.

  1. Came here via Tamara’s blog. I realize this is a super-old post but I wanted to throw in my 2c on sentiments of the general sort, “sometimes I want to ask God why he won’t act to fix the injustice and poverty and hatred in the world; but I’m scared that he will ask me the same question” …

    I’m an atheist, which means I think that what’s most likely to be true is that there is no higher power out there looking out for us. (I don’t claim to have proof that there are no gods, I just don’t think there’s sufficient reason for belief so I withhold it.) That understanding of reality does motivate me to act to fix injustice, poverty, hatred, and other problems in the world. I do volunteer work, I help people when it’s in my power to do so, I donate to charities, I speak up against racism, sexism, and other hateful prejudices. I do what I have the time, energy, and resources to do. I could of course do more if I cut out other obligations, but I think that finishing my PhD and getting a job will enable me in the future to do even more good for humanity, so that’s what I’m primarily focused on right now.

    On the other hand, if the god you are talking about is omnipotent, then he/she/it (heh) doesn’t have to balance time commitments, or develop skills in order to use them in the future. God could achieve anything, short of logical impossibilities and other semantic games. If God wants the world to have a reduced amount of suffering, God could make it so. Strangely, the “I’m scared that he will ask me the same question” part of that quote implies both that God wants the world to be better than it is, and that he wants people to bear the entire burden of making it that way, which is a bizarrely ineffective route for an omnipotent being to choose.

    And it’s also kind of strange that this “mysterious way” for God to work happens to look exactly like us humans being on our own without a higher power there to look out for us….

  2. You know what? I absolutely agree with you, and understand what you are saying. My ‘go-to’ response is atheistic, and I seem to have had a back-slide over the past few months. I’m just following where the ideas lead….

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