So, now that I’m over the horror and trauma of pregnancy ( not as melodramatic as it sounds; vomit everyday for 8 months and then argue with me) I’m able to get my head around the idea of faith again. Not only can I not handle the idea of a God when I’m pregnant, I can’t pray or consider spiritual things at all ( hmmm, sounds oddly similar to stories I’ve heard of possession. Isn’t a sign of needing an exorcism the inability to pray or connect with God?) (No I didn’t compare my newborn baby to the devil, really I didn’t).
It makes me realize what a gift it must be to have the faith to completely rely on God in difficult times. People who experience the death of loved ones; people battling cancer and those in financial desperation- being able to turn to, and trust in God, is an amazing gift. People can suffer from awful and debilitating diseases while maintaining a powerful and fulfilling prayer life throughout. Sure, I feel sick during pregnancy but basically it’s a wonderful and exciting time with a baby at the end of it ( and because this is NOT going to become a MummyBlog I’m not going to add a photo of Micah at this point) but I can’t get even vaguely jiggy with religion during it. Irritating, and something that makes me wonder.
Mind you, once I would have taken that as excellent proof for the non- existence of God. I’d argue that I needed to pray, and that I needed Gods help and support and the fact that I didn’t feel it means that he doesn’t exist. Considering that incredible minds have contemplated the idea of suffering for their whole lives with no definite answers, then I’m willing to concede that my vomiting and not praying may not be the official death knell on religion. There’s a lot more to it than that and just because I don’t ‘get’ it doesn’t mean that it’s all a bunch of hooey.
So, given that I’ve finished being pregnant, God has me to contend with again. As the kids say these days ‘sucks to be God’ ;).